Ok, here we go. Its been coming for a long time and its appropriate that now the record gets put straight. This is a general over view of what you can expect when moving to a small village in Andalucia with a growing concentration of English ex-pats.
Unfortunatly some expats seem to be so bored that they start off their own rumour mill, not unusual I know, happens everywhere in fact not just here in Spain. The problem is that with such a concentration of expats (some of which you would have had absolutley nothing to do with in the UK) tongues start wagging and it is impossible to keep yourself to yourself. It is incredibly difficult for some people to understand why others dont want to sit in a British bar all day or attend the expat club every other weekend. Now thats fine if thats your thing but dont slate others for not wanting the same kind of lifestyle you do... After all we are in Spain and others would like to mix into the Spanish life to varying degrees - thats up to them.
One thing you can almost certainly expect is to hear totaly false information about yourself from someone else who heard it from whats his name. Again this is normal, human nature even but it makes you think when you yourself have not given any idication to anyone about the subject they are waffling on about. Some are tagged "anti English" because they dont want to attend every British barbeque that gets arranged, some are tagged "Brits in the sun" because if the UK was hotter they may not have moved to Spain. All of this is of course rubbish but is a healthy basis for scathing others with ridiculous and down right stupid opinions.
Some people are even leaving, coming from the coast to escape the "little England" culture they find themselves in an even more concentrated culture of back-stabbing and rumour. One such person recently said "I,m just sick to the back teeth of all the crap, you cant live your life without some idiot trying to rip it to peices" a pretty strong opinion. It is apparent that some people just cant help it and its a bit dissapointing considering that in the main most peoples motivation was to start again or improve their life by relocating to Spain, why try and tarnish that for others who are here for different reasons than your own? - what goes around....
Prehaps its time to settle down and respect the fact that some people want to live the Spanish life, or a bit of Spanish and English or whatever mixture they choose. It can be and is very dangerous which can be over looked by someone with a huge mouth until its too late.
Ignore it? well yes, probably the best thing to do. However in these small rural villages dont expect to live the idilic Spanish life without some expat mars bar talking about you behind your back. Stories and rumours dont dissolve over here like they do in the UK.
For the record/examples:
*My business is healthy and "I" am not selling horse sh*t instead. (you know who you are)
*I am not and have never claimed to a professional builder - the blog is a guide, you make your own mind up.
*I am not going back to the UK.
*I dont speak French
*My cave is mine and not my neighbours (yeah, many thanks for that one)
This post too close to the knuckle? give it 6 months....
comments welcomed.
6 comments:
CR, your post is very pertinent and I agree with Pebbles, life is too short to worry about what other are saying.
It seems to be a crowd mentality whereby, if you don't join in, you think you're above your station. And if you are trying your best to integrate, you're a turncoat!
I know from what you've achieved in Spain that you come across as a free spirit! And free spirits have no time for wagging tongues!
Keep up the good work and bugger the rest!
Cream (Blogger is playing up again!)
Hi Guys
Had this sort of conversation so many times, not only here in Spain but back in the UK too. It is almost like a small town mentality. I have several schools of thought on this one, and I think that they are applicable in different situations.
Firstly many people who have moved here, have way too much time on their hands, and they see someone getting on with things and not needing the emotional crutch of fellow brits, and this makes their minds work overtime, as they try and work out why. Unable to come up with a reason which is satisfactory to their small minds, they either imagine or invent a reason, which in effect makes them feel better about their position.
Some people need to be the ones that think they know everything, and if there happens to be, not a shred of truth in the stories they are promoting, this is of no consequence, as they live by the premis that there is no smoke without fire.
Another reason may well be that some people are jealous of your achievments, and your seemingly easy intergration into the Spanish way of life, whereas they may be having problems. These people may also believe that they are better than you and their egos cannot cope with the plain fact that someone is doing it better.
The list is pretty enless of possible reasons why certain people feel the need to promote or even start rumours about other people. One fact is plain, and that is that these people are unable to be mature enough to live and let live, and to accept that we are not all pack animals and do not all feel the need to congregate and socialise with 'our own'.
Got to agree with Pebbles, if these rumours are simply petty and silly then just laugh them off, however if there is any malice in them or they are potentially damaging then I would nip them in the bud. You know me CR I call a spade a spade and a shovel a shovel, and I do not suffer fools gladly, as you know I had a small inccident recently and I would not say I went off it, but I certainly did not leave the perportrator with any doubt as to my feelings nor my position.
Carry on with the way you are doing things mate, if it ain't broke, don't fix it....lol You are living the life and reality, a lot of the rest are living the dream, and their dream is turning into a nightmare and biting them on the arse.
Pebbles: Agreed, life is way too short. Its just a pity that others dont seem to realise and waste their time sticking the knife in. We all know of the little "groups" in various villages - would I want to be part of that? thanks but no thanks!
Cream: Thanks for your comments, "bugger the rest" is the best way to go, to ignore it, however all expats get tarnished with the same brush which makes it extra difficult to intergrate. Its a good job everyone knows us in our village but when we go further afield we immediatly enter a different catagory.
Pebbles again: Rant all you like - just thought I would bring the subject up so people could vent a little steam.
Spainblog: You have hit the nail on the head with your comments. Its beyond me though why some of these individuals feel this strong urge to bring others down (if they can)Makes the world go around I suppose.
It seems that there are people who has integrated in the Spanish society too fast, since gossip is as Spanish as bullfighting or paella. You only have to take a look at the Spanish TV and see that all channels dedicate most of their time to gossip. You see, it was Spanish people who started rumours about Pebbles and Ramon.
Emilio: Fair comment. The people in Orce talk about the "Brits" and people are people so it is not to be unexpected. I dont try to be Spanish at all - just mix into the culture of the country I have chosen to live. Its a bit dissapointing that other expats cant handle this. Afterall "us expats" are in general all in the same boat depending on our reasons for being here in the first place.... What would be wrong with a fair view of some people thinking "I am here for my Brit community and my pizza and ok, others are here for paella and to learn the language"
Surley its about respect for other peoples views and reasons for being here. Unfortunatly some people take a dislike to any brit who seems to enjoy the Spanish way of life and its rural culture etc. To be honest it doesnt bother me at all because I know why my family is here, on the other hand when people make a general unfounded comment about my family ie: my 4 year old son and my wife then someone needs to put back in line. Some comments cant be ignored....and all from the civilised english expat...
Cave -- I read your blog with amusement (I live in Dubai and happened upon you through Little Yellow Duck). Expat communities are the same everywhere!
Cheers for keeping my own little expat grumbles in perspective!
Post a Comment